PNE

The summer I am 14 I spend nearly every day at Playland. It's free to get in and Anna Franciosi's sister Gina's dating this guy Nello who runs the Wooden Rollercoaster and he lets us on for free whenever we want. He is 18 and I think, pretty damn cool. I kind of like the way he gently manhandles us into the seats and straps us in. I like leaving the comfort of white bread North Van for the risk and excitement purported to exist over the bridge in East Van Halen. 

But the main reason I go is because the boy I love, Love, LOVE is part of the custodial crew. He had broken Broken BROKEN my heart just after school got out for summer, up there on Quarry Rock, with a girl who would go all the way with him. She's not even smart, what does he see in her?? Gawd. I will never love again. It's already been over two weeks. I spend hours in Erin's basement writing poems to him, while she writes poems for his best friend. We eat popcorn and kill ourselves laughing over jokes that no one else understands. Then we moisturize our legs as we read our deep and tender verses out loud to each other.

Anyway I find out on the Berkeley bus that He got a job at the PNE. Jeff Hardy told me. I know for sure there is something between us unfinished still. Jeff totally says he knows it too. Cuz he had been the only one man enough to stare down my dad, who menaces from the living room window, glaring at the boys who come calling. The others have run but he, The Heartbreaker, is the one who knocked. fuck! hot! totally!

No one else's mom lets them go Over Town unchaperoned, so that's how I end up with my cousin's next door neighbour Anna. She is a super cool chick, so it's right on. The first time she and I cruise the grounds it's almost immediately, like a sign from above…Omigod there he is!! We watch for a bit, peeking around from behind the cotton candy stand. Mostly he's wandering around with a broom, smoking cigarettes, a lock of black hair hanging in his eye. He wears his shirt dangerously unbuttoned and looks super bored. fuck! hot! totally! He sees me and I see him and I practically shake with delight. He smiles and so so casually saunters over. 

So I mean it's just so weird cuz now I bang into him every single day here by the Music Express at like 1 o'clock. It must be meant to be or synchronicity or something. 

The only song that ever plays during our transaction blares rain or shine: I see magic in your eyes/I hear the magic in your sighs/Just when I think I'm gonna get away/I hear those words that you always say/
Abra Abra-cadabra Abracadabra

Him: (nods at me)
Me: oh hey. what are you doing?
Him: nothing. What are you doing?
Me: nothing.
Him: this job sucks
Me: ya
Him: wanna smoke
Me: ya
(We light up)
Him: shit that's my boss. see you tomorrow?
Me: maybe I don't know
Him: you look good in that dress
(I wear it to bed)

I run to Anna, we hold hands and jump up and down. 

The next day: the exact same thing. Innocent hearts can just hang out like that. 

Summer.